Counseling

Your Parents... are they Helicopter Parents?

You've probably heard this term. Basically, helicopter parents are hovering parentals who circle around campus, getting way too involved in life on campus. When something goes wrong, they make it (or want to make it) ‘all better' again. Instead of having their students fix the problem, they make the calls, make the trip, and attempt to make everything better.
Sometimes you ask for them to help, and other times they take it upon themselves to ‘help'. A lot of time they just can't help themselves! But don't just let them fix your life for you when things go bad. Request they point out the resources on campus that can help...but you need to be the one to solve your own problems.
When you talk to your parents about a problem, tell them that you will fix it and ask for suggestions. If they ask if you would like them to write, email, call, visit, camp outside your dorm, thank them for wanting to help and then do it yourself.

This is your life. It's your job. And it's your responsibility.

A Quick Parent Checklist:

  • Set a regular time and day of the week to check in with them
  • Regularly keep in touch via email and IM, but avoid asking them to solve your problems by contacting people at school. That's not their job.
  • Regarding campus visits---plan in advance when your parents can/will visit you, and plan when you'll be going home. If you're close to home, set up some parameters on when/how often they visit. A call to you the day before is not asking too much.
  • Send them a thank-you card or letter. If you want to surprise, shock, and floor your parents, send them a handwritten thank-you card. They eat that stuff up! BUT, avoid asking for money in the same card.