Valentine's Day
DID YOU KNOW? The holiday blues---or in this case holiday ‘reds'---aren't over yet. It happens every year. The Christmas season roars in with frantic holiday sales, shiny red bows and family. New Year's comes along with wild parties, noisemakers and good friends. Then the Spring Semester begins, and ever so quietly Valentine's Day lurks in...and if you are without a significant other, you may wish to banish the date from the calendar entirely.
So, while Valentine's Day is about hearts and flowers and hugs and kisses for couples, it can be a time of introspection and even depression for singles, including the divorced and widowed.
The November-December holiday season can be a tough time, but island families often invite single friends to share the fellowship that surrounds Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's celebrations. But Valentine's Day is by definition a "two's company, three's a crowd" affair.
The media loves to tell consumers how love should look, feel, and act. Love looks glamorous. Love feels incredible. And most importantly, love is best when accompanied by a fully loaded wallet. It is no wonder that many - couples and singles alike - are disappointed by a holiday that depends on such an easily manipulated characterization of love.
Although there is no research on any seasonal "spike" in calls for mental health help during February, the longer-term impact of "another way I'm told I'm a loser" cannot be overlooked. Realistically, Valentine's Day is more likely to find individuals depressed, lonely, or believing that they are missing out on a vital part of enjoying not only the holiday but also life itself.
- Don't feel there is something wrong with you if you're not in a relationship. Your worth comes from what you are, not who you're with.
- Don't look back at old relationships as missed opportunities. Look to the future.
- Valentine's Day isn't just about romantic love. Do you know someone who's recently widowed or divorced? Do you have a friend who's just gone through a rough break up? Spend the evening together...
- Take some time to reevaluate what you really want in a relationship. Old saying: "It's better to be happily alone, than unhappily attached/married"...think about it.
- Treat yourself to something special on Valentine's Day (the chocolate you buy for yourself is just as wonderful and healing as any given to you by someone else!)
Can't shake the lonely or sad feelings? Trying to figure out how or why your relationship is going so badly? Not sleeping or eating? Can't get over the hurt of a broken relationship-romantic, family, or friend? Worried about looming questions like: "What if I'm really going to be or supposed to be ‘alone' for the rest of my life?" Let us help ...
Asbury University Center for Counseling ~ 2nd Floor Fletcher-Early ~ 859.858.3511 ext 2323
